20. Journal Entry - "The Dentist"

Bravery is something that all men should have as a characteristic and when one seems to be afraid of something they feel wimpy. The dentist is I guess scary, to a 7 year old not a soldier in Vietnam who everyday faces his biggest challenge. Fainting before the dentist even touches you is definitely going to bring your self esteem down and I don't blame him for wanting to go back and prove himself.  I'm not sure how getting the dentist to pull out his fake painful toothache is heroic in anyways but never the less his problem is confronted and overcome.
Most people have psychological issues like this alot, our brains are very powerfull and can alter anything into what you want it to be. For instance one time I pertended I was sick so I didnt have to go to school, a few hours later I was sick.
You can feel the way you want when your put you mind to it.

19. Journal Entry - "Enemies and Friends"

so shooting yourself in the foot is a bit extreme and if you did it in the valley you would more then likely end up in some ward pleading your sanity if you even had any. Since its a war story though anything can be true, no matter how far out the story is.
to tell you the truth Im almost positive that I read both these chapters with wide eyes. I just found it so out of the blue that they would first off fight over a jacknife...and then go the distance of shooting his own foot to feel like they were even. The weirdest part of all is them being the best of friends after? I found that so..highschool. One thing that was so typical was them agreeing to kill each other if one was every brutaly injured. Makes me wounder how much of that is true.

18. Journal Entry - "The Lives of the Dead"

This story was very touching and sad, it made me think of way to many things in my own life that brought tears to my eyes reading it. I have had a a loved one die from a tumor before and its not a very pretty sight, I watched my dogs head grow bigger and bigger and the vet continue to tell us that its just a sty and that everything will be okay. One thing that I have learned is that people can tell you it will all be okay but you should never stop cherishing the last moments you have with someone.

It was brave of the nine year old Timmy to go to his first Love's funeral and seeing Linda in her casket not looking like her usual self. Personally I haven't once been able to see my dogs after they have passed because I'm not emotionally strong enough to handle it. The memory of it would haunt my mind for the rest of my life, I'm glad that I only have happy memories of both dogs. Now Timmy on the other hand was strong and said his goodbyes to her and for that I am jealous of him.

17. Journal Entry - "Night Life"

Reading this chapter really put some pictures in my mind. For some reason I felt like I was picturing those pictures that he had in my own head, and feeling the way he felt.  I was so immersed in the reading that I was convinced I was there enduring the same thing they all had to. It was weird that they were going insane but at the same time it was almost normal. When he ended up shooting himself in the toe I was kind of distraught by his actions but then again its just one of those war stories right?

It was a relief that Jimmy Cross told him that he would "vouch that it was an accident" because then Rat could go home and just get away from all the histeria. The support he got from the rest of the soldiers was meaningful because they were not madd at him for taking himself out of the war but more they were kind of happy for him. Happy that he was free from his own mind.

16. Journal Entry - "The Ghost Soldiers"

I wouldn't know what being shot sounds like, but it seems like it wouldn't be the most painful and devastating thing ever that would most likely result in death. However When Tim O'Brien speaks of his first time being shot it makes it seem ugly and hurtful yet definitely survivable. The thought of actually being shot is far more worse then the literal feeling of it all. Its a mind set that everyone most likely has, I mean who would think that being shot is like no big deal, besides 50 cent. Its something that isn't on every ones top ten must experience list but I'm sure when it does happen, its entirely life altering.
    
The first time it happened everything was all well and their medic at the time, Rat Kiley did a great job with helping O'Brien. However the next time he was shot there was a new medic who didn't necessarily know what he was doing. This caused extreme damage to O'Brien who held a grudge against him for a very long time. I think the extent of his anger was a bit much, and the whole prank that was pulled on Jorgenson was completly un called for. In a way im glad that he started to feel guilty a little bit through the prank, and still after all of it the managed to call it even.

15.Journal Entry - "Field Trip"

I think its cool that Tim O'Brien takes his daughter back to the places that he fought even though she doesn't fully understand everything now I think she will come to appreciate it with time. Im actualy surprised that she even was that interested to go on the trip. If I was her I would have wanted nothing to do with it because growing up I was a very shy girl and often didn't want to particiapte in activites. However I wish that maybe I had been exposed to other things like that because its experiences like that that shape our personalities and who we are. Im more outgoing now and everything but its only because I was forced to do things and joined clubs and such to get myself here. Tim is doing the right thing by bringing his daughter to the memories of his past time and telling and showing her the experiences that he endured. Its not longer just a story for Kathleen, it's reality.

14.Journal Entry - "Good Form"

We learn that the story of Tim O'Brien killing a man is false and that he only told the story to allow the reader to get an understanding of how he felt. He tells us that sometimes stories can make things more present which is completely true in my mind because when we are told not to do things often we do it anyways however when there is a story with a meaning then the point is usualy more understood.
I love this line - Sometimes story truth is truer than happening truth - because there is so much meaning behind it. People get sucked into the story world so often and sometimes even seems more real than reality. Sometimes we use stories to get the point to stick in peoples heads like the boy who cried wolf. This teaches us not to lie or people wont beleive you when you really need them to. Its neat to see O'Brien toying with our minds by telling us hes lieing but knowing still that the feeling is still reached.

13.Journal Entry - "In the Field"

You can't help but notice that everyone thinks they are to blame for the death of Kiowa. Jimmy Cross thinks it was his fault because he stationed the soldiers in the field even though he had a gut feeling that it wasn't right. However a young soldier also thinks it was his fault because he was discussing a picture of a girl and he turned on a flashlight to show Kiowa, it was then that the field started to explode. Bowker also felt it was his fault he died too because he couldn't pull him from the mud due to the smell of the field. I think that everyone goes through life feeling some sort of blame for something that they probably didn't have a whole lot to do with. Everything happens for a reason and pointing fingers doesn't resolve anything.

12.Journal Entry -"Notes"

I really like this chapter alot because we are told the true story of which happened to Norman Bowker in the form of a letter. Tim O'Brien tried to incorporate it into a different book but ended up cutting it out because it never fit into the time frame. However three years after Bowker wrote the letter to O'Brien he hung himself which I think effected him alot. When Bowker tells us in his letter that he cant move on from the war, that he feels like he is stuck, and cant find a meaningfull use of his life I feel that O'Brien understands. I think that he really gets it, that he knows that people cant just move on from it because it honestly does effect the rest of their lives with all the experiences that they endure. Im glad that this got written and that the reader gets a feel of just how much trouble soldiers have after the war. It makes me want to start some program where soldiers can go and talk about everything that happened so they can move on, just like O'Brien with his stories.

11.Journal Entry - "Speaking of Courage"

This chapter is about after the war when Norman Bowker goes home, we learn about his town and the lake. I think that the lake is significant symbol in this chapter. He drives around and around the seven-mile loop ten times reminiscing on the medals that he won. It was a total of seven medals and he knew his dad would be very proud of these, but then he remembers what he didn't win - the silver star. As he drives around the lake he imagines the conversation that would happen between him and his father when he told the story of why he wasn't courageous enough to win this certain medal. Now when dark comes and the fireworks start Bowker wades into the water and watches them. I think that the lake is symbolizing the field of muck where Kiowa had died. Its almost like he wants to go back to that moment to change his actions and try and save Kiowa.

10.Journal Entry - "Style"

We learn about a small village where most of the houses had been burned to the ground and there was pretty much nothing left. You hear nothing because there "was no music" but still you see this young girl dancing "with her eyes half closed, her feet bare." We are told that her entire family had been burned and she was the only one left in the entire village. Throughout the story she doesn't stop dancing, she does "a graceful movement with her hips" and moves right and left, back and forth. When they were leaving they thought maybe it was some weird ritual, but Henry Dobbins explained that she "just liked to dance."
       This shows how humans can find happiness even in times of despair and when all hope has been lost. We have the ability to block out things we don't want to know, or choose to forget. Sometimes it works for the better but other times its just stalling from the brutal spiral to the ground.

9.Journal Entry - "Ambush"

Tim O'Brien writes about his younger daughter in the chapter Ambush, along with a few other chapters, her name is Kathleen and she is nine years old. O'Brien tells us of the questions that she asks him, like why he writes these war stories? However the one that is truly significant is when she asks if he had ever "killed somebody." He tells us "it was a difficult moment, but [he] did what seemed right" which in this case was to tell her "of course not." I think that this was a good idea to lie to her because she is so young to fully understand the war and why so many deaths occured. Also he continues to say that he "hope['s] she'll ask again" so he can tell her "exactly what happened."
            Even though she is just a little girl, she still see's right through her dads cover, with reference to why he keeps writing all these war stories. She knows that there is a reason behind it and I hope that she never gives up on him.

8.Journal Entry - "The Man I Killed"

Tim O'Brien didnt seem like the type of character to kill a man, and we notice how his actions towards the dead man reveals this. He constantly goes over what the man looked like, giving us grusome description of the death and how it was after. He continues to imagine the life of his victim and tell the readers who he could of been, and what sort of life he should have grown up to have. You can tell its a hard time for O'Brien because he gives the silent treatment to Kiowa who is trying to get him up and out of his mind set. O'Briens guilt lays on his shoulders and haunts him, he cant seem to get over the life of this "dainty young man" with a "star shaped hole" in one of his eyes. Time passes, and still Tim ignores Kiowa's attempt to talk about the killing, he is torturing himself by not letting going, and continuing to over look the situation and add a story about the "lightly freackled" man.

7.Journal Entry - "Church"

When the soldiers found an almost abondoned pagonda they set up camp and stayed there for a while. They made friends with the monks, well for the most part because they didnt necesarily speak english. None of the soldiers really seemed to care a whole lot about the monks except Kiowa, he was the one soldier that carried a New Testiment. However it was Dobbins who said he might "join up with" the monks after the war, which was weird because he wasnt "all that religious." We find out that as a boy he grew up in the church, and "in highschool [he] started to think how [he'd] like to be a minister." He goes on to tell us he wouldnt be smart enough, because you needed to be sharp and have brains. Although he doesnt want to be a minister in the end, he still wants to be nice and just be a decent person to those who deserve it.